Prop 8 was a huge loss for us. But this is not the end, just a setback.
So now what do we do?
From Wikipedia:
Beating is the procedure by which a [sailing] ship moves on a zig-zag course in the direction that the wind is blowing from. No sailing vessel can move directly against the wind, but that may be the direction it wants to go. Beating allows the vessel to advance against the wind direction.
We're traveling upwind, and we've been zigging for a long time. Maybe it's time to zag.
Given such a great disappointment, it's easy to react quickly. But stop... we need to
think... and then we may even need to
re-think.
Paul Hogarth says (emphasis added):
This is no time for making excuses, or inspiring words that we're part of a greater struggle. Our right to marry just got taken away from us, and we've got to be smart if we're going to get it back.
Our initial reaction has been angry. There's been a flood of "fuck you's" (Twitter, LJ, Facebook, blogs like
Suck my Dick, California!) There's been de-friending on LiveJournal. There's been blame-throwing and flame-throwing. (Even before the election, my friends were flipping-off Yes-on-8 supporters on the street.) All along, we kept chanting the same thing: "hate! bigotry! discrimination!"
While "hate and bigotry" may describe a portion of our opposition, they don't apply to everyone who voted in support of Proposition 8.
Let us take some time to listen to our opposition.
Rod Dreher says:
I expect that the anger among the gay community and their supporters over this result will make rational discussion of the matter impossible, at least for a time. But what I would like to see is an honest reckoning over why Prop 8 won, something that goes beyond, "They hate us! They hate us!"
Sadly I'm in agreement with this statement. Our community is hurt beyond words. But right now some of us are probably seething at the notion of "an honest reckoning of why Prop 8 won."
People, we need to dissect this. We need to examine the scene of the accident. Instead of chanting "hate! hate! hate!" we need to ask ourselves: what can we do to convince our fellow citizens that this inequality is wrong?
In order to win the game you must understand your opponent. I fear that many of us don't understand the opposition at all. NOW CALM DOWN. I did NOT say condone or excuse them. I did not say their actions are justified, nor did I say we shouldn't be angry. (We should.) All I said was that we need to
better understand them.The worst thing we can do is tell them to fuck-off, or dismiss them as insane fucktards.
From an
essay (unrelated to Prop 8):
Inflammatory language just increases hostility and defensiveness; it seldom convinces people that the speaker is right. (Actually, it usually does just the opposite.)
Likewise, all opponents should be treated with respect. It doesn't help a conflict situation to treat people disrespectfully; it just makes them angry and less likely to listen to you, understand you, or do what you want. No matter what you think of another person, if they are treated with respect and dignity -- even if you think they do not deserve it.
A lot of blame has been thrown at groups (blacks, old people, Mormons, San Diego County residents...) There are people who feel strongly about the matter... on both sides. And for many, no amount of campaigning would change their minds. But there's a big group of people in the "squishy middle." Maybe they heard both sides, and likely voted based-on the fear that was sold to them. We need to speak to these folks and convince them that "no one is free while others are oppressed."
And we need to evaluate how effective our campaign was. What
really worked? (Something tells me it wasn't lawn signs or rallies.) Where did we fail? For one thing, we should've more effectively countered the slime that was thrown at us via television ads.
And some of us,
myself included, need to ask ourselves if we did enough. (Yup, I donated to the campaign. I spoke with my family about it. But I didn't take any time to talk about it with my non-gay friends, co-workers and fellow citizens. I'm now regretting that.)
More soon.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
tired